!!!Jimmy Football's D3 paradise!!!

 

Hi. I'm Jimmy Football. I am the leading source of information on D3 - Where the real men play and the girls go home crying.

 

Now what are waiting for. Jimmy Football's top 50!

Just KIDDING! How about 10? Okay!

 

1. WOOSTER OH 8-0 - Defeated? Nope. Not as far as Jimmy Football is concerned.

2. CONCORDIA - MOORHEAD: 8-0 - These Cobbers are not your average TV dinner, folks. You heard it here first. From Jimmy Football.

3. CARLETON MN - 1-7: Turn their record around and they are 7-1. It's magic time, bay-beeee!

4. MOUNT UNION OH - 8-0 - Three-peat? Yeah. I've heard of it.

5. VIKINGS MN - 5-2 - They can beat any non-professional teams and five professional teams.

6. SAINT JOHN'S - 5-3 - Have you ever heard of Chef Boyardee? What's up with that asshole?

7. LINFIELD OR - 8-0 - Why do I put math equations right next to team names? They aren't equations. They are subtractions.

8. TRINITY TX - 7-1 - The Matrix was frickin' rocking. Trinity was like super hot and special abilities.

9.  USC - 8-0 - Jimmy Football cracked corn, and USC cared.

10. JESUS STATE UNIVERSITY - 100-1 - Their only loss came to GOD STATE UNIVERSITY.

BONUS!!!!!!!!!! NEWS FLASH!!!!!!! Jimmy Football's UP AND COMER!

CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF MOLESTERS - Their receivers have good hands and there's no shortage of awesome tight ends.

 

I am the number one source. Here is the reason.

1. I played football for Batmobile State University. 

2. I had consensual sex with a cheerleader.

3. I got an A+ in being right ALL THE TIME.

4. Home Runs is my middle name. 

5. I think I could be in the NFL if it wasn't for stupid Emphysema.

6. I'd be funnier than Bart Simpson if I had my own cartoon.

7. I once saw Friday Night Lights AND Remember the Titans AT THE SAME TIME! (Seriously. I had three TV's going at once. The other one had WATERBOY!

8. I make GI Joes reenact famous football memories. i.e. Green Bay Packers.

9. I eat, sleep, breathe, and poop out D3 Football!

10. I live in my mom's basement and I know HTML.

do you smell what Jimmy Football is RANKING?!?! LOL! (instead of cooking.)

Time to snort some cocaine.